Are You Low On Allowance?
My last blog I wrote about my dad. And his alcoholism.
I received I a lot of thank yous… but one conversation really stood out. I'd like to share with you a little back and forth from a reader I'll call Liza.
I'd like to talk about it.
We all have people in our lives making choices we would never make.
"If she would only leave her abusive husband!"
"If she would just stop acting like a victim!"
"If he would just get a job!"
It's so easy to see what other people could choose that would make their life work better. But what is better? I'd bet most of the time when you say better, you're thinking what would make their life work the way you would like your life to work.
What if everyone doesn't want what you want?
What if you are spending your time trying to make your mother happy when what she really loves is to be unhappy? Is that kind? It it honoring? Or is it really just being superior?
True allowance is one of the most powerful energies I have encountered. It is such a kindness. Of the other person, but also of you. Because it is hard enough to change yourself. Your chance of changing someone else is basically non-existent… so why set yourself up for failure and the other person up for being wrong?
I'd like to share with you the story of getting to allowance with my dad. Because it wasn't always that way…
Would you be willing to be a person who does not require others to be anything other than what they wish to be?
What would it be like to contribute to what someone wishes to create rather than to what you wish they would create?
You don't have to hang out with them. You don't have to listen to their story. But what if you could see exactly where they were choosing from and be the one person in their life in total allowance of them?
What would your life have been like if you had been treated that way as well?
Where could you increase your level of allowance? For both others, and for yourself?