I Used to Roll my Eyes at All These Things
Once again, it’s been months since I’ve written. I just go through these phases where I can’t.
It’s as if my system is still decompressing from decades of pressure cooking. Of doing and moving and achieving and hustling.
So while I used to be highly motivated to send consistent blogs and memes and social updates… with the exception of those moments when I feel truly inspired… I’ve just let it all take a big exhale.
I’m finding I’m just not willing to force anything anymore. At all.
My requests this year have been:
– To truly see (truth, beauty, who I am, what is).
– To connect with and amplify the voice of my own knowing.
– And to let go of everything that doesn’t serve me.
It wasn’t until I slowed down that I realized the insanity of how I had been running my life. What I thought mattered. Whose beliefs were dictating how I was using my sweet (numbered) days.
I’ve been doing a lot of things lately I’ve spent my life rolling my eyes at. The hippy dippy stuff. Not only meditation but also…
Inner child work. (seriously!?)
Forgiveness stuff (boooooring)
Delving into some really old anger. (Man, do I have some anger!)
Sitting with sadness.
Creating space for the divine.
The thing is, it actually hasn’t been boring or icky at all. It just feels required. Overdue. Life giving. Human.
It purges out of me.
It makes me feel less on a pedestal and separate from everyone and more an actual person, who can create space and be present and care.
Today I woke up and I wanted to write to you. I wanted to write to you because the deeper I get into my own process, the more think I about you and yours.
It is a strange journey… this being human thing.
And I am continuously grateful to be along for some small portion with YOU.
– What is one thing you can do today to nourish yourself?
– What have you labeled “productive” or “unproductive” that maybe isn’t serving you?
– Is there anything you have rolled your eyes at that might actually contribute to you?
– Whose beliefs are dictating your goals or how you spend your time?
Take your shoes off and walk over the frosty grass.
Go hold cats at the humane society for an afternoon.
Make that fresh ginger tea and take a decadent 30 minutes watching the birds while you drink it.
Enjoy whatever phase you are in. The messy one. The revealing one. The charged up conquer the world one.
Allow yourself to fall apart. Or fall together. Or be changed from within.
At least that’s what I’m doing right now.
And it has been alarmingly good.
Much love to you this beautiful day,
P.S. I have 6 baby pygmy fainting goats joining my family next Saturday. I thought you might “need” to see their sweet little faces. Hard to hang out with these little dudes without a smile. 🙂